***haha, I fell asleep before I could hit post on this but h..

***haha, I fell asleep before I could hit post on this but here’s the finale of my thoughts from last night***

I guess what seems to be most in my mind lately, is this inner countdown to death, and trying my best to find a point to any of it. The earth is estimated to be habitable by life for another 1.5 billion years. What the hell. Who can even comprehend that? The things we’ve done as a civilization will not matter. We’ll live on through the civilizations of whatever uses earth next, as historical interest for a few hundred years or maybe even a few thousand years, maybe even a million years. Eventually our entire existence and everything we’ve built and discovered will have disappeared forever. Humans as we know ourselves definitely won’t be around, nor even the most evolved guesstimates of futuristic beings that science has come up with. None of us nor any line of our descendants will even be a speck of dust in a frozen ocean at that point.

So what is the point.

In the grandest scheme of things, there isn’t one. How could there be any more point to life than just getting to being alive. Not for fame or money or working yourself to death trying to achieve all these things that are microscopically insignificant on that universal level. In all those billions of years before us, and the billions of years after us, among all those galaxies and stars and planets it truly is like a 0.00001 in a gazillion chance we somehow became conceived and birthed on this specific planet, in this specific time period and survived right up until now.

In our small scheme of things though, the way we live day to day, within our reach and scope… we have come up with innumerable reasons, theories, faiths, beliefs and metaphors trying to understand the meaning or purpose. I have a such a very hard time thinking on small scales. Everything I do is directly connected to some bigger picture. Nothing supernatural and not like…a godly bigger picture or anything like that. But somehow leaving some trace of myself that might last to be discovered long after I’m gone.

I thought and thought and came up with a couple of things. I’m going to start collecting animal skulls that I find or of animals I hunt. I will take each and find somewhere I can hide or place it to become fossilized. Ill carve my name or other imprint into it. The place I put each will be somewhere that that creature never existed. Where the finding of it is unexplainable. Like a grizzly bear skull in Antarctica. These discoveries with my initials will be found in the most unlikely and remote places. Somehow earning me a place in some paragraph on ancient beings. Maybe lol.

My second action, will be to leave so many traces of myself on the internet. We all know those never disappear. 500,000 years from now a future half human half robot palaeontologist thing will be digging through our archaic depths of internet, find allll my pics and this post. Think I’m interesting enough to research and bring me back to the future.

You never know.